A Story with EVERYTHING

Only occasionally does a news story cross the wires that has every conceivable element important to a good story. But one just did.

The following story has:

1. Love
2. Deception
3. Kidnapping
4. Disguises
5. Chicks
6. ASTRONAUTS

CNN.com has a story about a female astronaut who is alleged to have attempted to kidnap or otherwise intimidate another female astronaut who was involved in a volatile astronaut-based love triangle!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/06/astronaut.arrested/index.html

In this story astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak is being charged with assaulting and attempting to kidnap a rival female astronaut rival for the affections of a third astronaut. Can the story be even BETTER?

You betcha!

Astronaut Lisa Marie allegedly hopped in her car and drove from Houston, TX to Orlando, FL while wearing a NASA-style diaper so she could make better time (it’s the diaper that astronauts wear on missions! It’s super absorbent). In Orlando she allegedly donned a disguise (including a tan trench coat, because astronauts in trench coats are just cool) and pepper-sprayed her victim. The victim made a get-away and reported it to the authorities.

When the police found her, Astronaut Lisa had a bag with the following things in it:
1. A new steel mallet
2. A folding knife with a 4-inch blade
3. Three to 4 feet of rubber tubing
4. Large plastic garbage bags
5. About $600 in cash

But supposedly she only wanted to “scare” the other woman into talking with her. I think she had just about all she needed to do that! And that doesn’t include the stuff found in Astronaut Lisa Marie’s car! That included more diapers and some latex gloves. Man, astronauts are wicked!

Upon being granted bail Astronaut Lisa Marie was fitted with a GPS-device. Which leads to my favorite part in the whole story, this item:

“Col. Steve Lindsey, Nowak's superior and commander of her space shuttle mission last July, testified Nowak had no reason to have any contact with Shipman and said the GPS device would not hamper Nowak's work.”

Of course that doesn’t count in the fact that she’s an ASTRONAUT! GPS devices are probably less useful once you are above the elevation of the GPS satellites! Can you effectively triangulate the location of a fleeing suspect in SPAAAAACE???


NOTE: Don’t anyone steal this, because I’m working on my first novel now!

"On the run from the law, knowing only the Law of Love, Astronaut Lisa Nowak makes a daring escape from the surly bonds of gravity but can't escape the stronger bonds on her heart..."